


the summertime and butterflies

by B3autifully_br0ken



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Amnesia, Amnesiac Harry, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Car Accidents, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt Harry Styles, M/M, Married Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Minor Character Death, Sad Harry, Sad Louis, Surgeon Harry Styles, Teacher Louis, Temporary Amnesia, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-29 05:11:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18771877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B3autifully_br0ken/pseuds/B3autifully_br0ken
Summary: A car crash causes Harry to get amnesia and to loose all memory of ever knowing his now ex-husband Louis.After lots of sleepless nights, crying and heartache, they decide splitting up is the best option for both of them.A year later, Harry starts to remember.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've always wanted to do an amnesia story so here it is. It's not very long because honestly, how much can you put without it getting boring? 
> 
> Anyways, please enjoy
> 
> P.s (things in italics are memories! Please keep this in mind or you'll be very confused because it skips around)

It started only a month ago when he was at the beach. The ocean water flooding his mind with beautiful blue eyes belonging to someone he doesn't remember. He knows it's the man who called himself Louis, knows it's the man who greeted him at the hospital with eyes glassy from hours of crying.

He just doesn't know why.

_"Morning darling" Harry mumbles sleepily, turning over to see the eyes he fell in love with. Louis smiles like_ _he's_ _just been given the world, and to him,_ _that's_ _exactly what Harry looking at him feels like. "Good morning" Louis replies, the fond practically seeping off of him._

He holds onto the memory, wants to remember so badly. It feels as if there's a gaping hole in his life, like he's missing such a big part of himself. Remembering makes him feel like the pieces are being put back together. He wants to be whole again, wants himself to feel right.

The second time it happens is only a day after he's home from his trip to the beach. After moving out of the house his apparent husband and him shared, Harry moved to a lovely apartment back in his hometown of Holmes Chapel.

Being back in his hometown allows Harry to see his mum more often than he apparently did. She was hurt by the news, of course she was. Her baby boy got in a car crash, not only that but he lost all memory of ever knowing the love of his life. His _soulmate._ Anne didn't entirely agree with their decision to split but she has no idea what it's like to be in their position, _so,_ she kept her mouth shut because she's always told her boy how she'll support him no matter what. After the accident, Harry decided to take a break from his work, he didn't expect it to last this long but when he called the cheif, she assured him it was okay. The emotional trauma enough of an excuse.

It happens in his mum's garden. He loves gardening, and his mom isn't one to complain about her gardening work being done for her so, she lets Harry have his fun. It was a very sunny day, that day. Harry was sweaty, covered in soil and there's empty flowerpots all around him. He sits back on his heels, looking up to scold the sun for being so goddamn bright that day, but it gets caught in his throat.

_"Haz, why on bloody earth did you decide to bring us here?" Louis complains for about the hundredth time since they arrived at the pride fair. "I know you want to show your gay spirit_ _and_ _all but all the rainbows are giving me a headache." He says. Louis knows he loves it here._ _He's_ _been gawking at all the rainbow apparel and has been giving his worst to the protesters._

_"_ _I'll_ _buy you a gummy dick if you stop complaining" Harry_ _bargains_ , smiling _because he's not actually bothered by Louis._ _He gives an amused_ smile but _it's_ _so bright and happy, like Harry is just the most unbelievable human_ _being_ _. He probably is. Louis smiles like the sun._

He ignores it, keeps it to himself, just like he did the last time. The memories make his heart ache. They make him want to cry and he doesn't know what to do. All he knows so far is that he had an unbelievable love for Louis' eyes and his sunshine smile.

"Harry? Are you okay honey?" Anne says, worry written all over her face. She kneels beside the boy and wipes the tears off his face. He didn't know he had been crying. "Harry?" She asks again, getting more worried by the second.

"Sorry mum I just got a little dirt in my eye, that's all" Harry lies, he knows it's a shit lie and Anne knows it too but she doesn't push. She knows Harry will come to her if he needs. "O-okay, I'll be inside, come get washed up. You've been out here for a while." She says, standing up and offering her son a hand.

It's about a week later when the next memory hits. The previous memories having been temporarily forgot again untill now. He's sitting on the couch with his sister Gemma, they're watching some boring tv show. One of the girls look awfully familiar.

_"Get this" Harry says, pointing to a pink sweater. Louis turns from the rack of clothes to where Harry is pointing his ginormous finger. When he sees the sweater, he really_ _isn't_ _surprised._ _He's_ _not. "Haz,_ _it's_ _pink_ _." Louis states, as if_ _that's_ _supposed to mean something. "Yep" Harry smiles, popping the 'p'. Louis just glares at him, no venom behind it, and checks the size. "_ _It's_ _a medium."_

_"Yep" Harry says again, and Louis knows what_ _he's_ _trying_ _to do. "_ _I'm_ _a size small" Louis says, still wanting to play this game. "Actually_ _you're_ _a size extra small" Harry retorts, and this time there is venom behind his glare. Harry raises_ _his_ _hands in surrender, and grabs the sweater off the rack. "Cmon" he says, not waiting for Louis to agree, just grabs his wrist_ _and_ _gently tugs him_ _towards_ _the changing rooms. Louis_ _doesn't_ _protest, he secretly loves this and Harry knows it too. Harry pushes them both into the small room and gestures for Louis to change. "Ever heard of privacy, Harold?" Louis asks even as_ _he's_ _pulling his shirt off._

_"Nothing_ _I_ _haven't_ _seen before." Harry retorts, smug smile on_ _his_ _face._ _When_ _Louis finally pulls the sweater over his head, his hair_ _is_ _all_ _messy_ _and_ _Harry's_ _never seen anything more beautiful in his life than Louis in an oversized sweater, messy hair and an innocent face looking up to him for Harry's approval._

_Harry fixes his hair, and grabs his face with both hands,_ _moving_ _their faces together in a soft_ _kiss_ _. "You look beautiful darling."_

Harry feels like he's going to throw up, not out of disgust but overwhelming feeling. And- he actually does. He makes it to the bathroom, thank god. Gemma following him quickly, unable to make it in time, leaving the bathroom door to slam in her face. "Harry? What the hell? Are you okay?" She asks worriedly right as the sound of Harry heaving into the toilet floods the hallway. She knocks on the door right as Anne walks up having heard the commotion. "What's wrong?" She asks, Gemma giving her a shrug as a response. The heaving paused before starting up again.

This time Anne knocks on the door, "Haz? Do I need to call a doctor?" she goes to leave to call anyway when Harry doesn't answer but right as she turns, the door flings open to a very pale Harry. "Honey?" Anne asks, Gemma looking pale herself beside her mom.

"Must've been something I ate, it's fine though" Anne and Gemma don't look convinced but Harry just walks past them and into the kitchen.

That leads us to now. It's been a while since Harry had his last memory, he kind of misses getting them even though they make his chest tighten and his stomach turn. If he gets to remember then it's worth it. He hasn't told a soul about it. Hasn't let anything slip. He really needs to get his mind off of things, that's why he's been cleaning his apartment for the last two hours. He's pretty sure you could lick the floor with how many times he cleaned it. Maybe he should get out, the apartment feels so empty, he doesn't like how quiet it is and he feels like there's someone supposed to be here. He _is_ running low on groceries so maybe he'll go out and get more.

-

He makes it to the store in no time, he's just been walking down the isles now, looking at the tea.

_Louis has been cooped up in their room for ages now, grading papers and Harry knows just how stressed his boy can get_ when it comes to his work. So, he's making him tea. Tea _always_ _helps Lou relax. Harry goes to their kitchen (pink marble counter tops, per Harry's request of course) and grabs out Louis' favorite mug. He also grabs the milk and a bag of yorkshire tea._

_While the water heats up, he looks out the window into their backyard and imagines their kids playing._ _He's_ _always wanted children with Louis, wants ones that look just like the boy. "Making tea?" Louis asks, startling Harry out of his thoughts. He turns_ _around_ _to_ _look_ _at the small man, "_ _yeah_ _boo,_ _I_ _would have brought you it if you stayed in the room." Harry replies, pulling Louis closer to him and laying his head on top his boy's._

_"I want kids" Harry blurts, and_ _fuck_ _, whyd he_ _say_ _that?_ _He's_ _halfway through planning his escape when Louis mumbles. "Me too" Shocked, Harry pulls back,_ _saucers for_ _eyes. "You do?" Harry asks, afraid Louis is going to admit how_ _it's_ _all a joke, that never happens. "Yeah, of course_ _I_ _do,_ _let's_ _make it_ _happen_ _, yeah haz?" Louis answers softly, and- he looks like_ _he's_ _about to cry. Louis Tomlinson looks like_ _he's_ _going to cry. "Hell yes!!" Harry just about yells, jumping up and down like a kid on_ _Christmas_ _, he_ _doesn't_ _care though,_ _he's_ _so happy. He just grabs_ _Louis_ _again and kisses him like the world is about to end_.

And maybe the world _didn't_ end, but maybe _theirs_ did. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this at 5am with feels

 

He thinks about him all the time; has he got a new lover, is he happier without Louis? Did Harry ever remember? Would he come back if he did? He has so many questions and not enough answers. 

They had a life together, so many years of love and memories; just to be forgotten in a matter of seconds. He regrets the decision to split, he was so heartbroken and he couldn't take the haunting feeling that this would never work so he just ended it to save himself the pain. It feels alot worse this way, he's decided. He didn't even fucking try and that's what kills him the most. Louis didn't try, he gave up on the love of his life and he's never going to get him back now. 

  _He's_ _crying, has been for the last thirty minutes._ _He's_ _thought_ _alot about it even though his emotions have_ _clouded his_ _judgment._ _Maybe Harry is happier without him, maybe Harry won't ever remember but he'll have a good life regardless and that eases the ache in Louis' chest, just a little._ _Harry's_ _been in the living room, looking at photo albums while Louis_ _took_ _a moment to_ _gather_ _himself. When he makes it back, Harrys still looking_ _through_ _the photos, it makes Louis want to reconsider his decision._

_"Hey Haz-Harry, uhm, could we talk about something" Louis asks, he_ _doesn't_ _think Harry will object, the boy_ _doesn't_ _remember him,_ _doesn't_ _remember his husband. Louis is just a stranger to him now, he must be eager to leave anyway._

The first month's were the hardest and- its still hard. He thought all the tears were drained from him in the first couple weeks Harry was released home but- no. He cried harder than he ever had the day Harry left. The day they decided to part, it felt as if someone had crushed his heart while it still beat in his chest. 

He felt heavy for months, crying himself to sleep every night. Thinking about all the good times, and he often lingers on the last time they spoke, before the accident. They had just agreed to have children, something Louis had been wanting the moment things with Harry got serious. Harry was just leaving for thirty minutes, tops.

_"Who was that?" Louis asks, Harry had just walked back into the kitchen_ _after_ _taking a call. "Niall, he wants me to go over and help him build_ _that_ _stupid coffee table he got. Honestly, he probably got it just so_ _I'd_ _help him build it, knowing_ _I'd_ _make him something to eat while_ _I_ _was there."  Harry answers, chuckling at the thought of his friend. Louis watches him grab the keys and his coat, turning to Louis, who had followed his husband to the door._

_"You_ _don't_ _mind_ _right?_ _It'll_ _just be half an hour, plus_ _I_ _can tell him the news." Harry asks, pulling_ _Louis_ _under his arm and kissing his messy hair. "Course not babe, i think it would be better for him to take out all his bone crushing_ _hugs_ _on you so_ _I_ _get all the soft ones." Louis says, smiling into_ _Harry's_ _chest._

_"Bye boo" Harry whispers, pulling Louis_ _from_ _his chest and into a kiss. "Bye"_

 

 

He didn't know that would be the last time he'd talk to _his_ Hazza.

Louis never told anyone but- the moment Harry left, his stomach dropped and he knew. He wished he stopped Harry, told him it wasn't important, he could do it tomorrow. But he didnt. He didn't stop him and now he's gone. It's no different than him being dead, for all Louis knows, he could never see the boy again. Even if he never did see Harry again, the boy in the next room would always keep him sane.

He does try not to think about the man but it's hard. It's hard when everything reminds you. The curls on his dog, the flowers in his garden, _anything_ green, and he's just torturing himself at this point because even a year later, he still has all the photos of his Hazza. Every single one. Going back to their high school years and up to the day it all ended. 

It's Harry's fault, he's the one who takes all the bloody photos. Louis loves and hates him for it. Loves him because what on gods green earth allowed Harry to be so fucking precious? Hates him because this is just making his entire body ache from the pounding of his heart and thoughts inside his head. 

He really needs a break, needs to just let it the fuck _go._ But how do you even let that go? How does one just let a love like that go? People would always tell them how their love was from the story books, something that only existed in movies. People would tell them how they were built to be together, proper soulmates. Louis knows it too, knows how perfectly they fit; knows how easily life flows through them, knows just how happy they made eachother and how unbearable it would be to go without eachother's presence. 

Harry wouldn't let him forget it either, wouldn't let Louis think for a moment he was anything short of amazing. Harry would always tell him just how lucky he was to have been made for Louis. Louis thinks he's the lucky one but everytime he'd voice that opinion, they'd always laugh it off and come to the mutual agreement they they're both lucky to have eachother. 

They never faded, the love never lost. They barely argued, barely disagreed, unless it was who was more amazing. Every couple goes through rough patches but they rarely did, everything always fell into place eventually. Sure, their were bad days when life got too much. Louis work would be too overwhelming and he'd breakdown, but Harry was always there for him, always ready and willing to soak up the tears with whatever ugly expensive shirt he'd be wearing that day.

Louis would return the favor, always. Harry had bad days too, and he loved his job at the hospital but sometimes things could get emotional. Louis doesn't even know how Harry was a surgeon, his soft, innocent, fragile boy. Harry being the man he is, would get attached to patients, something he was strictly advised _not_ to do but always ended up happening anyway. Sometimes things happen and patients die, whether it being from old age or a bad heart, it hurt all the same to Harry. 

Louis would comfort him, tell him how they're in a better place now, let his Hazza snot all over him. It should be gross but it never was, those are the things Louis misses. 

Sometimes he wonders if this was the world's way of making up for all the arguing and rough patches that they didn't have. Things like this usually pass over, but sometimes it doesn't at this is so much bigger than just a simple rough patch. This is years and years, this is marriage, this is life. 

Louis wants to be angry, wants to blame someone for this. He wants to blame himself, and sometimes he does. He knows he couldn't have known this would happen, he knows things just happened sometimes but if he just hadn't let Harry go when he felt something was wrong, his Hazza would be right next to him, in this bed that's been entirely too large ever since he left.

Finally, at 3pm, pouting in bed, Louis decides to stop being a sad, heartbroken little shit for at least an hour and go outside instead of using his weekend to actually catch up on work. He doesn't bother putting effort into his outfit, considering he's only going to the park that's less than two minutes away. He puts on the joggers were on the floor and are probably dirty. He keeps on the baggy red shirt that used to be Harry's though. It stopped smelling like him a long time ago but he still wears it when he's feeling particularly down. 

He goes to the next room and checks on the boy, he's asleep. Louis adores him. He goes to the kitchen, "hey Niall, can you come over, just need you for 30 minutes tops" once everything is arranged, he leaves Harry and his once shared house and starts walking down the sidewalk. As said, it doesn't take long for the small flower field and pond to come into view. It's colder than he thought but the sun being out makes up for it by warming him up again. Louis loves this park, has ever since Harry and him moved in to the neighborhood. The people around weren't too sure about a gay couple moving next door but once Harry invited half the neighborhood over and they all had a taste of his baking, they decided the boys weren't bad people. Louis chuckles at the memory. 

  _"_ _Holy_ _shit_ _what if no one likes us and we have to move because Mr.Chester gives us his deathly judgmental stares everytime one of us go out,_ _I_ _can't_ _deal with_ _that_ _Louis. I might punch him, and you know how_ _I_ _feel about physical violence." Louis just stares at him. "Who the hell is Mr.Chester?" He asks, completely ignoring the boys rambling._

_"_ _That's_ _not the point, but if you must know,_ _I_ _don't_ _know_ _I_ _was just going off the movies, you know how like_ _there's_ _always_ _that rude neighbor who_ _doesn't_ _like you just because_ _you're_ _living next to him?" Harry rambles again,_ _moving_ _to take the cookies out of the oven._

_"I_ _don't_ _think- Haz, honestly everyone will love us, well, you at least" Louis laughs, taking a cookie off the tray._

_"Those are hot!" Harry just about screams and- now_ _there's_ _a stinging pain in Louis' hand and a cookie on the floor.  "Are you okay?" Harry asks worriedly, ice already in hand, holding it on the tips of Louis' fingers. "Yeah Haz" Louis laughs softly, unable to hide his fond. It_ _didn't_ _hurt bad anyway but any pain there was is definitely gone now with such a beautiful_ _man_ _infront of him._

_People started to show not long after Louis burnt his finger and Harry kissing him to make it better,_ _though_ _Louis is pretty_ _sure_ _you're_ _supposed to kiss the spot_ _you're_ _hurt at,_ _he's_ _not complaining though, it worked._

_Ten_ _minutes in and_ _it's_ _a blast, as expected, everyone loves Harry and Louis. Louis has overheard several people complementing his boy on the food, and after_ _trying_ _some for himself, after its cooled of course, he can definitely agree._

_Harry spends the majority of the gathering talking to soccer_ _mom's_ _about how much his husband loves footie too and being the best host. He walks around the home, offering snacks and food to the guests, complementing them on their clothes and jewelry, not because he wants them to like him but because he genuinely likes their apparel._

_When the gathering is finally over, Louis spends the rest of the night listening to Harry ramble_ _about_ _the people_ _he's_ _met and how wonderful it all went. Louis_ _smiled_ _with him and shared his day with the boy, both deciding this is the place_ _they'd_ _like to start_ _their_ _new life in. Louis_ _couldn't_ _have been happier._

Harry liked this park too, of course he did. Harry loved coming here, no doubt picturing their own kids here. Louis did it too. His favorite spot by far is the bench closest to the pond; it gives him a perfect view of the flower field. 

When he comes here and sits on this bench, he doesn't have to worry. Doesn't have to feel the pain of what's happend.  
He gets to come here and let the flowers remind him of a curly haired boy and hope. Hope things _will_ work, things _will_ get better. This park feels like Harry and when things get too hard, even when the thing making his life feel like shit _is_ Harry, he comes here and let's it pull him in.

He'll come here and get lost in the flowers, let every memory and every moment feel like rose petals rather than fire. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emotions were fucked so this is a sad chapter.

_"Harry please." Louis begs for the just about the hundredth time._ _It's_ _useless though, Harry knows it. "Louis,_ _I'm_ _sorry_ _I_ _don't_ _remember you,_ _I_ _don't_ _remember us._ _It's_ _like_ _there's_ _a chunk missing and no matter how hard i try, nothing_ _comes_ _up" Louis sobs more. Harry feels bad, how can he not? He doesn't remember this man but he feels like he_ _should_ _hug him, feels like the right thing to do would be to grab him_ _up_ _and just cuddle him untill the world stops; or just untill he stops crying._

 

_That's_ _what he does. It feels right. "No!" Louis yells, pulling away when he feels Harry start to wrap his arms around him. "You_ _can't_ _keep doing this Harry,_ _can't_ _keep holding me like you remember me. I_ _can't_ _handle_ _it." He pauses,_ _breathing_ _heavily through the tears. "Please don't" Louis says, whispering now, begging the world more than he is Harry._

 

_"_ _I'm_ _so sorry Louis,_ _I'm_ _trying,_ _I_ _really am." Harry says, he means it._ _He's_ _trying so fucking hard._ _He's_ _looked at so many_ _albums_ and all the photos on his phone.  
_He's_ _read all the text messages and_ _he's_ _seen every note they've ever written to eachother._ _He's_ _in all of them but he_ _doesn't_ _remember a thing._ _It's_ _like he knows everything except_ _Louis_ _. He_ _knows_ _he went to that park, just not the parts with Louis. Harry tries to hold him again, hates to see him cry. It makes his chest ache and he wants to cry too._

 

_"Stop" louis whispers even though_ _he's_ _not pushing Harry away anymore. Harry_ _doesn't_ _stop. He holds him._

 

Harry remembers it, the memory hurts more than it did before. He remembers more about Louis, he remembered that his favorite sport was footie, and that in high school, which he remembers going to with Louis, the boy unexpectedly puked on the field. Harry remembers how concerned he was, remembers just how fast he got out of his seat to make sure the boy was okay. He remembers picking him up bridal style infront of all those people too. Lastly, he remembers the earful he got from Louis about it, but he also remembers the look on his face. Harry knew the boy loved it. 

 

Harry smiles at that. Smiles because even though it hurts, it makes him glow. 

 

-

 

"Hey mum" Harry says, he just spent the last two hours going over everything he remembers. It's not enough, he wants to remember more. "Hi darling, how are you?" _Fucking terrible,_ Harry thinks. "I'm fine mum, I just wanted to ask you something." Harry hears her hum for him to continue. "What can you tell me about Louis?" Harry asks softly, as if the world would fall in an instant around him if anyone else heard him. There's a long pause. Harry would need a minute to process it too, hell, he _does_ need a minute. 

 

"Louis?" Anne asks, making sure she wasn't being delusional. "Yep." Harry answers flatly. He doesn't want to talk about it all right now, he's already feeling like his world is spinning, and it is, for the second time. Anne, being the lovely mother she is, senses Harry's lack of enthusiasm towards elaborating so she begins. She wants to help, even if Harry won't talk to her about it right now, she knows he will eventually. 

 

"Okay, well Louis, he's 26, humongous heart, sassy one, really good at those comebacks." Anne laughs, remembering her son's husband like it was yesterday. She misses Louis, greatly. He was the light of Harry's life, she was so devastated when she heard the news. She knows deep down thay even though Harry didn't remember Louis, his soul did. Harry was sad for so, so long after they split. He claimed it wasn't Louis, said he doesn't even remember him, so why would he be upset.

 

_"It feels like a piece of me was_ _torn_ _away. I_ _don't_ _know w-why, why_ _I_ _feel like this,_ _it's_ _like_ _there's_ _a black hole in my mind-d and nothing_ _I_ _do,_ _I_ _can't_ _figure it o-out." Harry says between drunken sobs. Anne's heart was aching, it was so heartbreaking to see her child so upset. She spent her fair share of_ _nights_ _crying over her boys broken soul._ _She'd_ _never admit it though. She_ _didn't_ _know_ _what_ _to say to her boy,_ _didn't_ _know if there was anything she could say to him, so she didn't,_ _she_ _just held him untill exhaustion took over and he fell asleep on the kitchen floor where he broke down._

 

"Yeah?" Harry encourages. "Oh, he loves children, absolutely adores them. Amazing brother he is. Total mommas boy aswell." Harry smiles, he feels lighter now, like he can breathe again. 

 

"He loves you, so much Harry, I've never seen anyone so in love in my life. He'd shine brighter than the sun itself when you walked in. You and him were the topic of conversation when me and his mum would have tea. Jay knew it too, she told me 'that's what real love looks like' said you guys had the kind of love that only existed in fairytales." Anne finishes and suddenly Harry can't breathe anymore. The weight is back and he feels like he's on fire. He wants to scream and cry untill he stops breathing forever. Maybe death feels better than this. 

  
"Okay" Harry chokes out, his breath gone and eyes blurred from tears. He doesn't even let his mum speak again or ask if he's okay, he hangs up. He ignores the calls that come afterwards and just sinks to the floor, putting his head into his knees.

It takes an entire three hours for Harry to recover. His eyes are red and puffy, there's a knot in his throat and he doesn't feel like a boulder is on his chest anymore but now it just feels like a car. It's bearable. Harry thinks about everything his mum said. He just calmed down but somehow it makes him feel better now instead of suffocating him.

_"_ _You're_ _married?" Lilly, a cancer patient Harry visits often, asks. Harry smiles up at her, taking his eyes off the book he was reading to her. The_ _thought_ _of Louis bringing a smile to his face. "Happily" he replies. She seems quite pleased with the answer, "_ _What's_ _her name, why_ _haven't_ _you_ _ever_ _told me?" She askes, faking offense. She reminds him of Louis. Harry laughs, "_ _you've_ _never asked, and his name is Louis" Harry corrects._  
_Her eyes widen in wonder, "_ _you're_ _married to a boy?"_ _Voice_ _filled with astonishment. "Yes, i am" Harry confirms, smiling. Lilly thinks for a moment, "do you love him?" She asks._  
_Harry, not_ _sparing_ _a_ _second_ _to think replies, "more than anything in the entire world" Lilly smiles wide at that, but it dissappears. "What_ _is it_ _Lilly?" Harry asks, noticing her change in mood._

_"_ _I_ _like a girl, momma told me_ _I_ _could only like boys but_ _I_ _don't_ _want to_ _like_ _a boy_ _I_ _want to like her. Do you think_ _I'll_ _ever marry her?" Harry is angry for a split second, he cant believe_ _someone's_ _own_ _mother_ _would_ _try_ _to change their child like that. "Lilly,_ _you_ _can_ _like_ _whoever you want,_ _don't_ _let anyone tell you who you can and_ _can't_ _love" He_ _doesn't_ _answer her question, he learnt the hard way not to make promises to patients like her. Lilly smiles, "_ _I_ _know_ _I_ _probably_ _won't_ _marry someone,_ _so_ _could you stay with Louis for me? Enjoy the love_ _I_ _won't_ _get?"_ _Harry's_ _eyes widen, he knew_ _Lilly_ _was more_ _mature_ _than most her age but this- this is a whole new level. "_ _You_ _don't_ _know that Lilly, anything could happen but_ _I'll_ _do it anyway."_

Lilly died a week after that, she was so strong and she fought, she was so brave. She smiled everyday, she lifted the moods of everyone around her. She smiled though the tears and when time came, she asked for Harry. Harry held her through it, she passed surrounded by the ones who loved her most. Harry came home to Louis, he managed to hold it in and eventually, the chief told him to go home. She saw the pain in his eyes and told him to take the rest of the day off. Louis held him like Harry held Lilly in her last moments. Louis was the one to whisper sweet nothings into his ears while Harry cried. Louis was the one that didn't let him go untill they both reeked of sweat and tears, and even then he held Harry while they showered.

Harry gets up from where he sat, wiping the tears he shed at the thought of Lilly and goes to bed. Too exhausted to do much of anything anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dunno why I killed Lilly tbh


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy <3

Even work can't distract him from missing Harry. Just like everything else, it always manages to make him reminisce.

_It's_ _free period and his friend Elizabeth and him have been walking_ _around_ _the school grounds like usual. Elizabeth is going on about something Louis_ _isn't_ _listening to, instead, his focus is entirely on the boy with curly hair. Louis_ _hasn't_ _told his friend_ _about_ _being_ _gay_ _but_ _it's_ _not like_ _he's_ _avoiding it,_ _he_ _just_ _hasn't_ _gotten around to telling her, being so caught up in the world of curly hair, he just never_ _got_ _around_ _to it._

_Louis' still staring at the boy, had the boy noticed,_ _Louis_ _would_ _be considered a creep but the way he sees it, if Harry_ _doesn't_ _know,_ _it's_ _fine_ _. Kinda. Elizabeth stopped talking awhile ago, noticing her bestfriend_ _having_ _drifted_ _his attention elsewhere. She expects a girl to be the object of his attention, which- shes a little jealous. Shes been crushing over the boy for months now. She follows his line of sight, expecting to see some hot, tall blonde, or just, anyone but her,_ _but_ _\- its a boy. A curly haired boy_ _laughing_ _along with two other boys._

_It kind of makes sense,_ _Louis_ _has never shown any love interest in a single girl for_ _the_ _entirety of their friendship. Elizabeth_ _isn't_ _even upset, it just makes sense,_ _it's_ _weird because the crush_ _she's_ _had, just kind of, disappears_. She _isn't_ _hurt_ _, if anything_ _she's_ _glad she_ _won't_ _have to go_ _through_ _the heartbreak of Louis telling her she just_ _isn't_ _good enough. If anything,_ _she's_ _hurt_ _Louis_ _didn't_ _tell her he was into dudes._

_"So_ _Harry_ _huh?"_ _She_ _asks, no point in_ _dragging_ _it out. Louis' head snaps up. "What?" He asks, face_ _red_ _with embarrassment. Elizabeth smiles, "_ _why_ _didn't_ _you tell me?"_ _Louis_ _looks guilty, he_ _didn't_ _keep it from her so he_ _doesn't_ _know why he feels bad. "Never got around to it,_ _I_ _guess" Elizabeth hums, she_ _isn't_ _mad. "_ _Well_ _his name is Harry, if you_ _didn't_ _know" Louis smiles, his heart fluttering,_ _it's_ _perfect. "Harry" he repeats, testing the name out, a little too loudly, for the boy himself turns around to look at Louis with red cheeks. 'Shit' he thinks, Elizabeth on the other hand is_ _laughing_ _behind her palm._

_"Yeah?" The curly_ _boy_ _squeaks out. "Uh- u-um" Louis stutters, and dammit, why is he such a fucking idiot? "Come on Lou, now might be the only_ _time_ _you ever_ _speak_ _to him" Elizabeth whispers, honestly how_ _stupid_ _can Louis get? Elizabeth is right, maybe its good he said Harry's name too loud. "_ _W-would_ _you like to go to a movie with me?" Louis rushes out, maybe the faster he says it,_ _the_ _quicker he'll wake up from this ridiculous dream before he has to endure Harry rejecting him. Hell, does he_ _even_ _like guys? Straight_ _guys_ _paint their nails too._

_Harry on the_ _other_ _hand, blushes like mad, the two boys infront of him smile knowingly. "Uh- yeah,_ _yeah_ _of course,_ _I'd_ _love_ _to." He gets out, and holy fucking shit he did it,_ _Louis_ _asked Harry_ _out_ _and he said_ _yes._ _"Cool, can_ _I_ _get your number too?" Louis asks with a newfound confidence,_ _loving_ _the blush that somehow deepens on_ _the_ _boy's_ _face._ _Harry's_ _dimples pop and he_ _grabs_ _the phone Louis offers, typing in his number_ _Louis_ _didn't_ _know_ _it, but that was the beginning to the rest of his life._

_All in all, it was a great day._

Louis sighs, watching the kids in class use the free time to catch up on all the gossip, and rumors. He looks around the room, landing on two of his favorite students. Chase and kade. Louis smiles at the two interacting, they've been friends for as long as Louis has been here, and it's pretty obvious they have it bad for eachother. Kade always laughing at everything the older boy says, blushing when the boy pokes his sides or cheeks. Chase smiling fondly at the reaction he gives him. He's noticed Kade is quite the jealous type, pouting and huffing when someone so much as _talks_ to Chase. Louis understands, he hated anyone talking to Harry in fear of the boy being taken away from him. Who knew it would be Louis himself to push the boy away.

This is why Louis loves and hates his job as much as he does, he watches these teenagers grow and learn, he sees them fall in love and get broken hearted. He's seen it all, but Chase and Kade remind him so much of Harry and himself that it aches.

When he gets home, he sends Niall home, he oddly seems happier than he has since Harry's accident. You see, like Louis, Niall blames himself. Niall is an amazing friend and he's always so bright, always laughing, it hurt to see him change. It wasn't a big change, but sometimes the smallest things can hurt alot. And it did, it does. Niall had came to him only a few nights after Harry and him split, telling Louis how sorry he was for asking Harry to come over. He told Louis how it's okay if the boy never wanted to speak to him again but- Louis knows it wasn't Niall's fault, it wasn't either of their fault, he could never hate Niall. The fact that it wasn't Louis fault never stopped him from feeling like shit about it though. Niall kind of just- he seemed duller than usual, more dialed down. It hurt to see him change like that but nothing Louis did could make it right again. That was just another thing to add to the list of things Louis managed to fuck up.

That's why this is so weird to him, it's like the old Niall was back, and before he even has a chance to ask, the fake blonde is out the door already. Weird.

"Anthony!" Louis waits. Nothing. He must be asleep. Good, well- not _good_ but Louis kind of just wants to be alone right now. Don't get him wrong, he loves Anthony with his entire being, he just- everyone needs to be alone sometimes.  
He sets his satchel down, kicking off his shoes and shrugs off his coat. Louis mentally praises himself for shopping the previous day, he ran out of tea and, _never again._ He was so moody that day.

After checking on Anthony, he heads back to the kitchen to heat up the water. It painfully reminds him of the day of Harry's accident. It's even more painful with him being in the same house. He's considering moving, the memories here being too much for him. The only reason he shot down that idea being his stupid mind telling him 'what if Harry comes back' but it's been a year now and he doesn't think that's a valid excuse anymore. If he was going to move it would probably be back in Doncaster or just, maybe he should go somewhere completely new to him. A fresh start somewhere. Louis smiles at that. Maybe Anthony would like it too, Louis thinks he would. It would be good for the boy.

After making himself a fresh cup of tea, he goes to his room where Anthony sleeps peacefully on the bed. Louis carefully sits beside him, having to lightly scoot the boy over from the middle of the bed. He scoots in quickly, the action causing the boy to stir and move back to his spot, except Louis is there now so he's laying his head on Louis' thigh. Louis doesn't bother moving him, just runs his fingers through the boys hair while sipping his tea and watching the cartoon playing on the television. It's nice, Louis doesn't feel this peaceful when he isn't with his Anthony. He would be completely lost if the boy wasn't in his life.

The peacefulness is interupted by the sound of his phone going off beside him. He snatches the phone up quickly, answering it to end the awfully loud ringing before it wakes the boy beside him. "Hello?" There's no answer. "Hellooo, who is this?" He says, incase they hadn't heard him. Still nothing. The other line isn't silent, he can hear shuffling and someone breathing. He pulls the phone away to look at the caller ID. 'Unknown caller'. He had gotten a new phone ages ago after Anthony had accidentally dropped it into the toilet. Louis, being the idiot and failing to remember that detail, furrows his eyebrows. Who the hell? "Well bye then" he hangs up. If it's some weird creep he isn't going to stay on the line longer than he needs to.   
Thinking nothing of it, he sets the phone back down and finishes his tea. After only ten minutes he decides to lie down, It takes a bit of struggle with the boy refusing to leave Louis' side but he manages. He sets the alarm for thirty minutes. He does still need to get work done.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like none of this makes sense

_It's_ _cold, like really_ _really_ _cold. For some reason the heater_ _isn't_ _working and the guy_ _who's_ _supposed to fix it has unexpectedly canceled. Typical. Now, Harry is freezing his arse off and_ _this_ _duvet he has just_ _isn't_ _doing the job. Naturally, he rings Louis. "Hello Hazza" Louis greets happily, Harry feels warmer already. "Hi Lou,_ _I_ _was wondering if you wanna come over" Louis, of course agrees._

_"Holy shit Haz, turn the heat_ _on_ _in here" Louis whispers, climbing in through the window. "I cant, it_ _doesn't_ _work, guy cancelled." Harry explains, helping the boy on his feet. "You bastard." Louis says, no venom behind it. "Well it_ _gives_ _me an excuse to cuddle you" Harry answers, kissing the boy deeply. He_ _hadn't_ _seen him all day. "Mmm ok" Louis mumbles_ _against_ _Harry's_ _lips._

_They immediately get in bed, the television playing softly in the background. Louis has his head on_ _Harry's_ _chest, listening to the boy's steady heartbeat start to pick up. Louis looks up to_ _Harry_ _with furrowed eyebrows. When he sees Harrys eyes dark and_ _full_ _of lust, his heartbeat picks_ _up_ _too_ _. "Harry" Louis says, breathless just looking at the boy._ _They've_ _never_ _done this before, with eachother at least and what better way to warm_ _up_ _than this?_

Harry blushes at the memory, he remembers their first time together. It was- something. Harry remembers how gentle they were with eachother, remembers the look on Louis' face when he came. Harry blushes harder. After using the bathroom to.. _do something,_ he decides to get out and get some sun, maybe take some photos at the park. He's been inside all day and a walk won't hurt anyone.

-

He decides halfway through his walk to just jog to his mums house. She's probably worried about him after their phone call, he thinks it's safe to assume if the fifteen attempted calls afterward have anything to say about it.

He knocks, he knows it's his mums house but he didn't call in advance so he isn't keen on his mum trying to smash a pan into his head again. That story is for another time. He remembers telling Louis that story, remembers the crinkles by his eyes and the way he threw his head back in laughter. Harry smiles.

The door swings open to his mum, a smile taking over her face when she sees her son. She steps aside to let him in, "you jog here?" She asks, keeping in the multitude of questions she has regarding their last phone call. "Uh, yeah, I'd hug you but-" he says, finishing his statement by gesturing towards his sweaty clothes. "Oh it's fine love, come, let's have tea" she says, heading to the kitchen.

It's not untill after the tea is made and they've settled at the table that Anne brings up the other day. "Love, I just wanted to ask if you're okay, you've been acting strange lately and after that call- I'm your mother Harry and I know you'll come to me if you need but I need to know you're okay" Harry feels bad, he kind of let the fact that people care about him slip his mind. He didn't even know people noticed.

"Yeah im fine mum, there's just some stuff going on and- yeah, I'm fine" Harry smiles at her to reassure but the look on his mums face tells him it does the opposite. "Harry.." she says, but Harry isn't listening to her anymore.

_Harry's nervous, why did he decide to do this?_ _He's_ _going_ _to completely embarrass himself infront of Louis and then the boy_ _won't_ _ever talk to him_ _again_ _. Okay he might be overreacting but still. He has his prom_ _suit_ _on and a yellow daisy in his hand._ _He's_ _ready._

_"Harry! Louis is here!" He hears his mum shout and shit he_ _really_ _hopes he_ _doesn't_ _fall down the stairs. He makes it to the bottom step before he slips. Louis_ _catches_ _him, the fucking bastard._ _Harry's_ _blushing bright red, it deepening when he finally looks up to see Louis looking at him with his entire heart. Harry_ _loves_ _him. Wait-_

_"Hi Love, you look amazing" Louis says, as breathless as Harry feels. He finally looks at_ _Louis_ _suit._ _It's_ _entirely black, fitting his tiny waist perfectly and Harry feels like he_ _can't_ _breathe. "Wow" he says, smiling at the blush_ _that_ _now coats Louis' cheeks._

_"Okay love birds, photos now." Anne says, lifting up a camera and snapping far too many photos. Harry secretly_ _loves_ _it, wants as many he can get_ _of_ _Louis in that suit. "Here" Harry says, handing the_ _daisy_ _over, just to watch Louis stick it in his suit pocket for everyone to see. Harry loves him so much._

_When_ _they_ _get to prom,_ _it's_ _loud, like_ _really_ _really loud._ _It's_ _probably one of the best_ _nights_ _of Harry's_ _life_ _. He got to dance and kiss Louis infront of the entire school and Louis never stopped smiling._

_Harry had won prom king and when he left the stage, he immediately took the crown off and ran to Louis,_ _setting_ _it on top his feathery hair. "I think we all know who the real king is." He told him, kissing him while the loud cheering fades to silence,_ _leaving_ _nothing but HarryandLouis. "I_ _love_ _you"_ _Louis_ _says, when they pull away, looking happier than_ _Harry's_ _ever seen him, except Louis just gets even happier when Harry says it back._

"I love him." Harry blurts, interrupting his mums rambling. She stops and looks at him confused and- hurt? "You found someone?" She asks, almost looking sad. Harry shakes his head, "no, I mean I love Louis" Anne's opens her mouth but doesn't speak, processing what Harry's just said.

"You- wait, do you remember?" She asks, hopeful. "Not everything but i remember the important things, I remember us meeting and prom and Lilly and, I remember alot now." He explains. Anne takes a moment and then looks up, "why are you still here? Why haven't you gone to him?" She asks, almost angry at how slow her son is.

Harry stutters, "w-well what if he's moved on, what if he doesn't want me back?" Anne looks at him like he just killed a kitten. "Are you serious?" She asks, deadly, and honestly Harry is kind of scared by it. "Louis has been depressed since you split, he misses you so much Harry, are you absolutely crazy?! " Anne says, raising her voice.

"I know! I know. I don't know, I was scared, all of a sudden memories started flooding back, it didn't make me feel much of anything untill I started to remember more. Then I started to feel all warm and it just felt like I was falling in love again. It's like my soul knew he was mine but my head wasn't putting the pieces together. I was frustrated, I didn't know what to do. " Harry explains himself, tears threatening to fall for just about the thousanth time.

Anne's face softens in understanding, well, as much as someone without amnesia can. It must have been really difficult for Harry and she realizes she can't blame the boy. "Does this mean you want to go back?" She askes, mentally hoping he'll say yes, as much as she loves Harry home, he belongs with Louis, no matter what happens. "I do but-"

"Then you'll go, Harry, Louis loves you, he did then and he never stopped, please go to him" Anne asks. Harry takes a minute to think, he has to at least try, right? "Okay, okay, I'll go, but not today, I'll go this Friday, so if he does decide to take me back we can have the weekend." Harry says, remembering he can't just show up in the middle of the day because of Louis' job. Anne beams, brighter than she has since his accident, and it makes Harry smile too. He can't wait to see his boy again, after so long.

Anne on the other hand, has a long chat with Jay.

-

It's the next day, Harry isn't really doing anything, just lying on his couch, scrolling through his phone to try and trigger memories. He never deleted a single thing since it happend and he's mentally patting himself on the back for it. He gets done looking through the photos of him and Louis, memories don't come like they usually do when he sees them, instead it's like they're already there, waiting for him to be reminded and put front for him to remember the details once he is. It's coming naturally to him now, and it makes him smile.

Harry remembers Niall, he hadn't talked to the boy since a few weeks after he left, Niall had helped him move into his flat. He remembered the boy constantly looking at him with worried eyes. Niall probably thinks it's partly his fault for Harry was going to Niall's when the accident Happened. He feels bad for never actually telling Niall it was okay.

He goes to his contacts to find Niall's number. "Harry?" Niall asks, and Harry can hear the disbelief in his voice. He understands. "Yeah, Hey" Harry says, smiling. "Holy shit, how are you?" Niall asks, not quite over the shock yet. "Quite well, you?" Harry asks back. "I'm- holy shit is- are you- what is going on" Niall ask, definitely not over the shock. Harry laughs, genuinely for the first time in a while. "Shocker, i know. I just- haven't talked to you in a bit, miss my bestfriend, you know?" Harry says, guilt of it flooding him. "So you're not mad at me?" Niall ask, forcing a small laugh. And- what? "You thought I was mad at you? No- god no, I'm - shit Niall I'm sorry, I was just going through alot and didn't really get around to talking to anyone. I was never mad at you." Harry explains, though he actually isn't entirely sure why he stopped talking to Niall.

"Are you sure, man? I'd understand, it was basically all my fault and-" "Niall, it was entirely _not_ your fault, not at all, I'm sorry I never told you that, fuck I'm _really_ sorry." Harry interupts. He hears Niall sigh a years worth of relief. "Jesus man, I wish you said something a year ago" Niall says, laughing again, not so forced this time, happier even.

They talk for a while, catching up and just joking and laughing. Niall makes a point to keep Louis out of their conversation, still under the impression that Harry still lacks his memory. Harry doesn't bring him up either, scared of Niall's reaction. "-and when I went to the kitchen, they didn't have any booze so I asked Louis if-" Niall stops, hesitating to speak again after realizing he's just said Louis' name. Harry's heart beats faster when be hears his boys name, debating whether now is a good time to tell Niall or not. "Um, I asked if- shit, I didn't mean to bring him up, I don't know if-"

"It's fine Niall, I actually wanted to talk to you about him." Harry interupts. Niall is silent for a moment, "yeah..?" He asks, wondering why Harry's calling a year later to talk about Louis. "Yeah so, I kind of started to remember, well I did a while ago, and- yeah I remember him a bit" Harry says, anxiety creeping up more and more the longer Niall stays silent.

"Wait- you- oh my god, _oh my god"_ Niall says, finally. He's shocked but so so happy. 'Louis is going to be so happy', Niall thinks to himself. "Yeah, I was actually going to come by tomorrow to see him, what do you think?" Harry asks, talking before Niall can freak out on him more. Niall, well he's, he best way to describe his reaction is, well he thinks this is better than food. "Hell yes you should, oh my god Harry he's going to be so happy." Niall says excitedly. That definitely boosts Harry's confidence. "Really? He'll be happy to see me? Does he have a new boyfriend?" Harry asks, blurting out that last part. He regrets it instantly though when Niall goes silent again. So Louis did move on.

Niall realizes how his silence could be taken and speaks quickly to reassure his bestfriend. "No, he didn't move on" Harry isn't sure what to think, why did he hesitate? Niall isn't sure how to tell Harry about Anthony, he doesn't even think it's his place to do so even if he did. "He really didn't Harry, I just wasn't expecting you to ask" Niall speaks again, taking Harry's returning silence as a bad reaction. "Oh. Alright." Harry answers, only a tad reassured.

They speak only about ten more minutes after that, Niall having life to get to. In those ten minutes, they make sure to make plans for when the two of them can meet up before they hangup.

After his phone call with Niall, Harry spots another familiar name in his contacts, one that makes his heart almost beat right out of his chest. Shit. He had Louis' number this whole time? Of course he did, they're _married._ He looks at the time, Louis should be home now if he isn't out doing anything. Harry taps the contact and hovers his finger over the call button. What if he doesn't answer, what if Louis doesn't want to talk to him. What if he _does_ answer.

Harry calls him. Phone now over his ear and hands shaking with nervousness. God, why did he do this? Louis, to Harry's great surprise, answers on the first ring. "Hello" he answers flatly. Harry doesn't speak, both amazed and confused by his voice. Amazed because holy shit, it's so much more lovely than he remembers. Confused because, does Louis not know it's Harry? Or is he uninteresting in talking to him. "Hellooo, who is this?" Louis asks, basically throwing Harry's fear of Louis not wanting to talk to him into the sun. Harry still doesn't speak, out of fear but also because ohmygodhisvoice. "Well bye then" is the last thing Harry hears before the line goes flat. He isn't even upset, he got to hear Louis' voice, making him want to see the boy even more.

Harry, after having a mental breakdown over how beautiful Louis' voice is, Harry spends the rest of his day nervously packing a bag full of a weeks worth of clothes. He isn't about to pack up his life just yet, incase Louis does decide not to accept Harry back into his life.

Exausted and full of anxiety, Harry showers and lies in bed. He thinks about all the possible scenarios for tomorrow, what if Louis moved on? What if he simply doesn't want Harry back? What of the heartbreak was too much for him and he shuts the door in Harry's face?  
The curly haired boy eventually runs out of bad scenarios and starts thinking about all the good ones. Louis welcoming him back with open arms, Louis kissing him with the years worth of built up emotions. Louis and him making up for the entire years worth of lack of sex. Okay that one wasn't meant to pop up. _It_ _wasn't_ _._ At the end of the day, Harry just falls asleep with, nothing but _louislouislouis,_ on his mind.

Basically, he falls asleep smiling. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooo here we go


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is almost over 😭

Today is the day. He's going to see Louis again, finally for the first time in so long. To say Harry has been freaking out would be a massive understatement. He's shaking with nervousness. Though, he doesn't allow that to stop him, no matter how badly he wants to back out, he needs to try. He has to.

Anne, being the supportive mum she is, offers to drive Harry to Manchester, she just doesn't mention the part where they're meeting Jay. He has another talk with Niall, making sure Louis stays home after work, also to confirm he's still where Harry left him. It makes Harry feel all soft and warm inside to know Louis never left their home.

Louis doesn't get home untill around five or six in the afternoon so they decide to go to Manchester early to just enjoy the city that Harry hasn't seen for over a year. It's a long drive but they make it by eight am, deciding to eat breakfast at a cafe.

They easily get settled at a table, Anne finally asking him about Louis after they order. "Do you know what you're going to tell him?" She asks, looking genuinely curious of his answer. Harry hadn't really put a whole lot of thought into what he was going to say, if he's being honest l, the boy was just going to tell Louis he'd remember him. So that's exactly what he tells his mum. "I was just going to tell him I remember him." He answers simply, not having the energy to voice his thoughts.

Anne hums in understanding. "How much do you remember exactly?" She asks next, and ah, Harry had been waiting for her to ask. "How am I supposed to know if I don't know how much there is _to_ remember?" He asks back. Anne snorts amusingly, "well I can see you remember enough to pick back up on the sass that's rubbed off on you" Harry laughs at that, understanding what she means. He can remember how good Louis was at throwing out remarks and insults, they'd come out instantly  without thought, never failing to surprise those who heard him.

He remembers Louis being such a social person, making friends with everyone and always being the life of the party. It makes Harry smile, loving the thought of getting that back. He thinks one of his favorite memories so far was the first day of college.

L _ouis_ sits on Harry's dorm bed while the boy himself talks to a lad who offered to show him around, Tyler. "Yeah i'm t _aking_ _classes to be a surgeon." Harry says, discussing their schedules. "Ah, you look like a footie player, with those legs_ _I_ _mean." Tyler says, smiling like_ _he's_ _just said something genius. Louis looks up at that but_ _doesn't_ _say anything from the bed, just gives the Tyler boy a glare that he stays oblivious to._

_"I'm actually really bad at sports" Harry responds,_ _trying_ _to stay friendly while also_ _trying_ _to hint at the boy that he_ _isn't_ _interested. Tyler, because_ _he's_ _an idiot,_ _doesn't_ _take_ _the hint. "I bet_ _your_ _arse would look good in shorts" he says,_ _getting_ _confident. Louis stands_ _up_ _this time and wraps an arm around Harry's waist. Harry smiles, seeing Tyler's face pale at Louis' intimidating appearance._

_"Oh, Tyler, have_ _I_ _introduced you to my boyfriend? Louis, Tyler. Tyler, Louis" Harry says, gesturing to the_ _boy's_ _when he says their names. "U-uh, nice to meet y-you" he says, holding a visibly shaking hand out. Louis shakes it firmly, firm enough to make_ _the_ _boy wince slightly. "Nice to meet you, though_ _I'd_ _love it if you_ _didn't_ _flirt with my boyfriend."_ _Louis_ _says, smiling daringly. "Y-yeah, im sorry about that,_ _didn't_ _know he was taken" the boy stutters out, slowly_ _inching_ _his way to the door. "Nice meeting you Tyler,_ _I'll_ _have to pass on you_ _showing_ _me_ _around_ _though."_ _Harry_ _says, declining the boy's previous offer._

_The second Tyler leaves, Louis is kissing him, hard. "Mmm" Harry mumbles_ _against_ _his lips, pulling back to see a pout on his boyfriend's face. "Hey, no_ _pouting_ _at me, we_ _don't_ _want the whole school to watch you_ _snog_ _my face off, now do we?" Harry says, gesturing_ _towards_ _the still open door. "Maybe_ _I_ _do, maybe its one of my kinks" Louis answers half joking. Harry twitching in his pants at that. He'll have_ _to_ _figure that out later but now_ _the_ _door is shut and Louis is on top of him._

"Earth to Harry" Anne says, waving her hand in front of the boys face, successfully bringing the boy out of his thoughts. "What?" He asks dumbly. Anne chuckles, "what're you thinking about, love?" She asks, taking a small sip of the tea they must have brought while Harry was stuck in his head.

"Louis" he answers truthfully. Anne opens her mouth to speak when a familiar voice calls to them. "Harry! Anne!" Jay says, suddenly at their table. "How are you, darling?" She asks while giving Anne a hug. "I'm perfect, you?"

Harry accepts the hug Jay offers, taking the extra seat next to his mum. "Oh I'm good- Harry!" Jay says, cutting herself off. Harry doesn't answer but he raises his eyebrows to show he's listening. "You remember my baby? I can't believe it, after all this time, he'll be so happy to see you" Jay says, almost in tears. She's so happy Harry came here to see Louis, to tell him he remembers, she wouldn't be able to stand seeing Louis in his state any longer. "U-uh, yeah" Harry stutters, of course his mum told her. He feels better though now, after hearing that Louis will be happy to see Harry, especially when it comes from the boys own mum.

They talk and catch up for a bit, sipping their teas and eatting their small breakfast that consists of fresh fruit and a pastry. Harry gets visibly more nervous as the minutes pass. He doesn't know why exactly, maybe most of it is actually excitement. It's only around one pm and they decide to go to a mall, nothing better to do anyway. Jay comes along.

"Oh Harry, look, you would look lovely in this" Anne says, pulling a red jumper away from its rack. 'Louis would look good in that' Harry thinks, picking out his own size and adds it to the pair of shoes he's decided to buy. It's kind of weird now, it's like there's nothing left to remember, it's all there now but he just doesn't know it.

Memories are interesting, you can't access them all at once and sometimes not at all, but when something familiar comes along, it's easy to just remember. Harry doesn't know it, but he's got his memory back. It's like he's normal again except he still remembers loosing his memory, he still remembers the year he was without his Louis. It's like coming home from a long business trip, except you don't know if they're waiting for you to come back.

"Oh love, stop worrying so much, Louis is going to welcome you back with open arms" Jay says, seeing Harry go nervous, again. Harry gives her a grateful smile as they checkout. The mall was nice, they bought clothes and food, Harry bought Anne a lovely necklace because she deserves it and he also treated Jay to a pair of earrings. He stays relatively calm for a good portion of the day, but as the clock slowly ticks through the school day, Harry's mind comes up with more and more to worry about. He's just really happy to have his mum and Jay to help distract him.

-

Louis' day, however hasn't been entirely all sunshine and rainbows. He woke up late, Anthony accidentally spilled his chocolate milk on the tests Louis spent hours grading, and he's just extra emotional today. It's one pm and he's thankful the have his next class as a break. Louis just needs some tea and he'll be fine.

He makes his way to the teachers lounge, fully intending to ignore every living soul untill after he has his tea. Except children of course. Thankfully, something goes right today and he actually makes it to the lounge with no complications. Adding to his luck, the lounge is empty. He sighs in relief and starts making the tea. Halfway through the water heating up, a fellow teacher stalks in.

"Hi Lou" the math teacher says, smiling brightly. Louis wants to slap it off him, if he can't be happy, no one can. "Hi Greg" Louis says confidently, he's actually not entirely sure that's his name but he says it like it is incase he got it right. The teacher frowns, "It's George" _oh._ "Right, sorry, haven't had my tea yet" Louis says as if that's a valid excuse.

The teacher, George, accepts it and smiles. "Hey I was wondering if you'd like to go for drinks later?" He asks, hopeful. Louis really doesn't want to be mean to this guy, he seems nice enough but if he says one more thing before he gets his tea, he might just punch him. Louis doesn't actually answer the man untill he finishes making the tea, not even then, he answers after taking a sip. Immediately relaxing. George stands next to him the whole time, patiently waiting for Louis to finish.

"I'm married, George." Louis answers, watching the teachers face turn into one of disappointment. "You are?" He asks, he's never heard Louis talk about anyone, nor has anyone else said anything. Louis holds up his hand with the wedding band on as a silent answer. George is new, so Louis is thankful he didn't hear about the accident, getting to use being married as an excuse to politely turn the man down.

Thankfully, the teacher takes it well and just smiles in understanding, followed by an apology. Louis goes back to his classroom to avoid anymore interactions, he's perfectly content spending the hour sipping his tea and finish setting up assignments. It's only half and hour in when Niall decides to call him. "Niall please don't say the wrong thing right now or else I'll leave work just to punch you" Louis says as a greeting. "Hello to you too buddy, tell me about it." Niall says, for as long as he's known Louis, he knows how to deal with a bad day. "I was late for work, Anthony spilled his drink on the tests that were supposed to be given out today and some bloke asked me on a date" Louis sums up simply. "What did you say?" Niall asks, sounding nervous. Louis narrows his eyes at that. "Why?" He asks, seriously considering leaving so he can strangle the answer out of him.

Niall fake laughs, "nothing man, you're my friend, I just wanted to know" Louis doesn't sense he's lying and relaxes again. "Told him I was married" Louis says softly, with a hint of sadness. Niall stays silent for a few seconds, feeling bad for his friend before remembering Harry. "Today's going to get better Lou, don't worry" he says, confidently.

"I hope so"

-

It's only ten minutes from six and Louis should definitely be home by now, assuming Niall was able to keep the man inside. Later, when Harry's getting ready to leave, Niall confirms the boy will definitely be home when he gets there. It's weird, he'd been nervous all day but now that it's time, he's scarily calm. It just feels like he's coming home from work or something, not coming back from a years worth of silence and sadness.

Anne had offered to drive the boy, but incase things don't work out, Harry would like to be alone on the drive home. He puts the bag he packed into the back seat and leaves after taking a shower and putting on the red jumper he had gotten earlier that day. The drive there seems so slow, though it's only fifteen minutes. Harry keeps the radio on to distract himself for the unsure thoughts, they never come. The nervousness had turned to hope and Harry thinks that even if things don't work, he would have at least gotten to see Louis one last time, he would at least be able to say he tried.

Manchester is familiar, he recognizes the streets and stores. He didn't even use the gps, having remembered the address already. When he turns down a road, waves of memories flood, making him smile at the familiarity. What really gets him is when he sees the house. It's almost like he remembers, definitely a year older. There's a tiny bike in the yard that he ignores and Christmas lights along the fence and bushes, Louis having obviously been too lazy to take down. Louis car is in the driveway, the same one he had when they were together, Harrys heart beats faster.

He's pulled onto the driveway, mentally preparing himself for the worst and the best, he took a few drives around the block before actually parking, though he'd never admit it. Honestly, fuck it, there's no point in dragging this out, Louis will either take him back or kick him to the curb, nothing will change the longer he waits. Harry steps out of the car, shutting the door and heading to the front door.

_This is it._ He knocks. Shit, should he he called first?

The door flies open before he can process it and- oh my god he's beautiful.   
Louis just stares at him with an unreasonable expression. Okay so Harry's doing the talking first? "Hi" he says. _nice going._ That apparently snaps Louis back to reality. "Harry..?" He asks, features softening, a mixture of disbelief and happiness. That's a good sign.

Harry doesn't really know what to say, but he guesses he doesn't have to because Louis is hugging him. Quite tightly and Harry can't really breathe but he'd happily stop breathing if it meant Louis hugged him. Naturally, Harry hugs back, not as hard though because his boy is _tiny._ He can feel Louis shaking slightly, a sign of him crying. Harry really hopes those are happy tears, not 'I moved on and you're too late and im sorry' tears.

Harry eases off to signal he want to see Louis' face, but the boy just holds him tighter, afraid Harry will disappear and this entire thing will be nothing but a fucked up dream. "Lou.." Harry says, trying to coax the little man into pulling away. "Can we go inside at least?" He asks softly, slightly pushing Louis backwards into the house, carefully as to not cause the both of them to trip.

Louis backs up willingly, allowing Harry to close the door behind them and walk to the couch. The only difference he notices with the house is the furniture being rearranged, the pictures and decorations having been left untouched. Harry sits down, naturally pulling Louis into his lap, the boy having moved his face into the crook of Harry's neck for comfort, still letting out tears. "Baby" Harry whispers, rubbing his fingers through the boys hair like he used to do.

Harry doesn't know how long they stay there but Louis eventually stops crying, but nevrr letting Harry go. He's still scared this is a dream. "Look at me, darling" Harry asks, pulling his head back to look at Louis. This time, Louis does look up, eyes red from silently crying. "There you are" Harry says softly, smiling at Louis, making the boy smile in return.

They stare at eachother, it's not weird or awkward, if anything it just feels nice. Louis' definitely changed, he has more stubble than he did, which isn't a big change, but he's also considerably smaller. Having lost weight since, not alot but enough to be noticeable. Harry changed too, not as significantly, the only thing being his hair. He'd cut it not long after leaving, having kept it short since. Louis pouts at it, running his fingers through the short locks. "Whyd you cut it?" He asks, he doesn't hate it, in fact Harry looks amazing but having been used to Long haired Harry, it's a change. Though that change seems insignificant considering everything else that's happend today.

"Donated it" Harry answers, he remembers telling Louis he wanted to grow it out, for that soul purpose. Louis seems to realize that aswell and widens his eyes. "You remember?" He asks, hopeful. "I do" Harry answers simply. "I remember so much, love" He says, wanting to cry from the overwhelming emotions of getting to hold Louis this way again. Louis beams. "I missed you so much Hazza" he says, getting emotional again, he doesn't care though, the love of his life came back, he's allowed to cry.

Louis leans in for a kiss but sees Harry staring at something, more like someone, behind him. Curious, Louis looks back and who he sees makes him freeze, face pale.

Anthony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this, it's almost over!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I deleted this original chapterm because I disliked it greatly. It was rushed and I didn't feel content with it. I like it alot more now so please enjoy reading !

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this ending was okay

Louis gets off Harry's lap quickly to get to Anthony. "Hey baby, how'd you get out of bed on your own?" He asks the one year old, picking the boy up. Not expecting an answer. Harry stays silent and just watches them, inspecting the boy from his spot on the couch.

He doesn't actually speak untill Louis sits on the coffee table infront of him, the boy in his lap, looking at Harry curiously. "You moved on?" Harry asks, sadly. Louis looks up quickly, "No, I didn't, never even went on a date" he answers, bouncing Anthony on his knee. Oddly calm. Harry looks confused, and a little angry. "He looks exactly like you Lou, what do you mean?" Harry says in disbelief.

Despite the situation, to hear that, warms Louis' heart. "I got a surrogate" he answers, staying calm, he knows Harry won't get upset unless he knows the whole story. Harry softens at that.  
"Oh" he says, staring at the small child warmly. He can't say he doesn't understand why Louis did it, if anything he's glad Louis chose to be happy and have a family even without him. No one could have known the result of this, Louis didn't know Harry would remember, he didn't know that the boy would come back even when he did. But he would not have Anthony if the accident happend, and Harry came back, he wouldn't change a thing.  "He's quite lovely" Harry says, smiling. The boy really is, even if Louis had this child with another, it would still be lovely, because it came from Louis- and Louis is lovely. Anthony really does look like Louis too. Brown feathery hair, gorgeous blue eyes and Harry doesn't know it yet but he's probably going to be tiny like the boy too. "What's his name?" He asks softly.

Louis smiles, "Anthony Styles, he's just about a year old." Harry snaps his head away from the boy, and up to look at Louis. "You gave him my last name?" He asks, tearing up. "You took mine, had to give yours to _someone._ " Louis answers, smiling lovingly. Harry resists the urge to fly forward and kiss the breath out of Louis, he doesn't want to scare Anthony. Instead, he scoots forward and gets on his knees infront of him. "Hi buddy" he says, the little boy giggles, far from scared. Louis smiles, Anthony has always been the social type.

"He's beautiful Lou, just like you" Harry breathes out, leaning up to kiss Louis without a second thought, briefly panicking because he doesn't know if he's actually allowed to. That thought flies out the window though because Louis is kissing him back eagerly. Harry missed this, missed Louis, he's hoping this means he's welcome back. He wants to see Anthony grow up, wants the boy to see him as one of his dads. He wants so bad. When they pull back, Harry has to ask. "Does this mean I can come back?" Louis stares at him in disbelief. "Are you stupid? I gave our kid your last name, even after we split. I didn't date because I was waiting for you." Louis pauses, remembering how he's the one who suggested Harry leave. "I regret us splitting Harry, It was so hard, I was so stupid, we could have made it, I missed you so much," Louis says sadly, but all Harry really hears is 'our kid'

_our_ _our_ _our_ _our our our._

He kisses him again, making sure Louis knows that Harry forgives him, he doesn't care about any of it, he's just happy he got Louis back, plus a wonderfully beautiful and energetic kid who looks and takes after Louis perfectly.

He feels lucky, yeah something bad happend, yeah it sucked and yeah I took a while to get back but he got back didn't he? He feels lucky because not everyone remembers, not everyone was willing to try again even after remembering. Hell, some don't find their loves again, but Harry was lucky enough to have the boy waiting for him, lucky enough to be able to have a chance for the life they wanted before It all happened.

Because oxygen is a thing they need to survive, they pull back. "I missed you so much Lou" He says, kissing him again. Anthony just minds his business, happy to play with the string of Louis' sweatpants.

-

After all attempts of Niall, Jay or Anne have all failed to get ahold of both Louis or Harry, they all kind of expect the worst. But when Niall goes to Louis' house with his spare key, what he sees makes all his doubts fade away. They're all on the couch, Louis on top of Harry's chest, Anthony cuddled in both of their arms, all three sleeping peacefully. Niall doesn't know why he doubted them. They're strong, they were meant to be and when a love like that exists, you'll always find your way back.

Despite everything that happend, despite Harry loosing his memory, despite the year they were without the other, they all make it. Because even through all the darkness and tears, light does eventually come. And sometimes it gets brighter, good things can always come from the bad. The world works in strange ways, and whether or not you believe in true love, you'll find that person you'll sacrifice anything for. Because we are human, we love and grow. We care for others in ways we cannot explain, in ways we are not ready to understand; but that's okay because we don't need to know how it all works because it just does. Do not be discouraged by the bad, because when bad things happen, you know you're on the right track, you know something greater will come, something that was worth the hurt.

-

Harry eventually does go back to work, happier than he's ever been, he continues to heal and care, yes it gets difficult but Louis is there for him when he returns, he's there to comfort and to hold. Louis gets to tell him about Chase and Kade, gets to see the proud smile that Harry gives him, gets to hear Harry tell Louis how wonderful he is for continuing to encouraging love even when his had left. Even in his dark times. Gets to hug and kiss him again, gets to fall asleep peacefully again, peaceful to know love of his life will be there when he woke up.

Anthony grows up to be just like Louis. He's social and energetic, always getting out of trouble by simply pouting, sassy but one of the best friends you'll ever have. But just like Louis, he's an amazing brother to his sister, Lilly Tomlinson 

Lilly, she looks exactly like Harry, curly brown hair and green eyes. Shy, but cheeky. Kind to all she meets, and like Harry, she looks up to Louis, because Louis is strong and kind, loving and supportive. And when she gets older, Harry would tell her where her name came from. A beautiful strong lady just like herself.

People try to tell you that the love in fairytales is fake, over exaggerated and just simply unreal. Yes, they tend to leave out the bad times, the struggles of  keeping the love, but let that only encourage you to find it. It will never be easy, it will never be simple. A good love can only come from purity. Their will be tears and heartbreak but if it was meant to be, it was meant to be.

Harry and Louis, well, they get their happy ending just like every fairytale does, in the best way possible.

_Together._

**Fin.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for choosing my book to read, it means alot and I absolutely loved writing this. I hope it you liked it too.
> 
> Thank you all ! <3
> 
>  
> 
> -alex

**Author's Note:**

> Just an fyi, Louis and Harry never legally got divorced so they're actually still legally married throughout this enire thing
> 
> Also I didn't proof read this so sorry for mistakes, also not everything will be completely accurate, im 16 give me a break
> 
> Edit: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LEAVING KUDOS AND JUST READING 
> 
> Please feel free to check out some of my other works and my wattpad.
> 
> https://my.w.tt/D9IlGRRdQW


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